Date, Ride Venue:

March 4th, Rockhampton

Outrider(s):

Mr K and Sue

Distance:

Approx. 15 miles

Cranks:

lan, Terry, Maddog, Soraya, Pete, Jason, Ruth, Geoff, Ali, Mike, Mona Lisa, Dylan, Postie and Red light.

A great turnout as the weather had been so cold this last week. This was a well-marked trail having been laid in road paint on Thursday (So a re-run is possible for at least the next month!) We set off to suss out the route, the checks were well enough spaced to tempt the faster riders into some long false trails. But some Cranks hovered over the check-points waiting and chatting for the on-on calls before heading off. Mr K put arrows on the circles as they could not be kicked out ­ more laterÉ. We headed northwest towards the River Severn then headed southwest down Hill Lane. Harestreet Lane led to Shepperdine and onto Shepperdine Road. The Nuclear Power Station loomed ominously above us. The pack was split as one unfortunate had a puncture. I found the on and proceeded along the track bordering the power station. This was very muddy, due to recent work by BT! A long Jelly Baby and de-clogging stop was needed. Mikes’ chain was stuck fast and only by the splitting and removing the chain could it be released. Thanks to MD and Scrat. On then to Oldbury on Severn village taking lane and then bridleway. A very warm and welcome pub stop was enjoyed by all at The Anchor. Along the way, Jason, momentarily distracted, fell and rolled down the bank into a drainage ditch. Wet to the knees he remounted to cries of “Ditchy” - Good job he’s grown those extra inches in the last few months!!

Further along the bridleway the pack happened upon a couple in a ‘compromising situation’ in a car. Sadly for them (and to our amusement), we could only make slow progress, as this was another very muddy bit! Joining the road again we came to a church on the top of a hill with a strange name I cannot remember. The views were super and very far-reaching. A great stop. From here MD and Scrat fell for Mr K’s ploy of describing a bridleway as “it may be a bit tricky” and off they went only to find bike carrying was the order of the day. The sensible ones followed the trail back through Kington to Thornbury, and then back via Newton to Rockhampton. A truly dreadful smell awaited our return, so Mike put off the cake treat until back at Mr K’s.

Mr K, thinking Al and MD were in front stopped marking the trail and so the guys had to check each one. A great ride Mr K and Sue, and thanks extended to Mike and Ali for the cake, Mr K and Sue for soup and showers and Soraya for wine, coffee and showers.

Date, Ride Venue:

March 11th, Stow on the Wold

Outrider(s):

Al Grey’un

Distance:

Approx. 17.5 miles

Cranks:

Al Grey’un, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Ruth, Geoff and Dylan

Dylan was charged with a mini write-up, but nothing has been forthcoming yet and as time has now elapsed and as I’m feeling really rough, here goes for a short report: Al had kindly sussed out the ride in the morning and he was impressively caked in mud by the time we met him. His stamina was recharged with what looked like power munching of pork pie and cakes.

And so the off - The first few miles were without incident and then my free wheel which had cost a £50 repair that very morning, started to fail once again. This resulted in Alan having to push-start me at every stop from then on. To compensate we saw three barn owls on this ride (or maybe one who covered a large area!) A deep manmade trough near the end enabled us to clean the bikes of the worst gung. The ride was approximately 17.5 miles and it has to be said that Al Grey’un was flagging just a tad near the end. Jelly babies revived us all to reach the end. Caroline joined us at the local pub for well-earned drinks. Thanks for a great ride Al, and at short notice too!

The Social evening was well attended by at least 23 cranks and JQ reported a good voting rate for the trophies.

Awarded thus: Best Ride ­ Pete Butlers ride in the Wye Valley. Best Crash ­ Maddog for the Face plant in the gravel. Crank Personality ­ Me for all this writing and general geeing up of Cranks ­ Thanks for your support guys. We enjoyed a tasty, well-earned supper and a few bevies. Thanks Jonquil for organising the evening, hopefully JQ will send out a few notes from the meetings ÉÉÉ Please?

Date, Ride Venue:

April 1st. Masons Arms, Joys Green. Ruardean.

Outrider(s):

Maddog

Distance:

Approx. 12 miles

Cranks:

Maddog, Mike, Ali, Steve, Baleout, Ali, Al Gray'un, Caroline, Turbo Tony, Rupert, Fraser, Fishy, Ruth, Mr Kippling, Postie Splat.

The day started with a flurry of phone calls asking “Where was the Masons Arms?”, apparently even some of the locals didn’t know where it was. Maddog’s directions left a little to be desired, a score rating of 1/10. Eventually everyone arrived and the ride got underway almost on time. This was (or was not?) a fancy dress ride on the theme of ‘April’ or ‘Fool’. Mr Kippling wore a fetching big bow tie and I (Fishy) dressed a Jester. Ruth had a funny hat but did not have time to fix it to her helmet. As Maddog was not in fancy dress, who were the fools?

I’ve no idea where we went but it was approx 12 miles of fun, mainly on forest track in all sorts of weather from sun to hail with a permanent head wind. During the ride we were treated to some trick cycling by Maddog who demonstrated how after doing a jump you can land on your front wheel and turn your bike into a unicycle. This however caused a slight problem when he tried unsuccessfully to negotiate a banked turn. Crash of the year 2006?

Rupert also demonstrated the classic cycling characteristic of looking at something (a tree stump) that you want to avoid, but somehow you end up hitting it anyway. Mr Kippling found one section of mud a particularly slippery causing him to bruise his ribs when he hit terra firma. We had a welcomed pit stop at the Swan at Brierley. At this point Caroline, Turbo Tony & Mr Kippling took the opportunity to short cut back, while the rest of us continued for an extra few miles en-route back to the Masons arms for another well earned drink.

Photos of the ride can be found at: http://www.coolhandfilms.com/fraser/cranks0406

Thanks Fraser for the photos and thanks Maddog for a cracking ride.

Date, Ride Venue:

April 15th. The Mill at Withington

Outrider(s):

Bale Out

Distance:

Approx. 17.75 miles

Cranks:

Bale Out, Ali, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Ruth, Soraya, Pete, Jason, Al Grey ‘un, Garry, Lyn, Dylan, Yob, Shaggie, Lou and newcomers, Bradley, Maggie, Eddie, Julie and Pete.

10.15 came and went and Cranks were still arriving by the carload. Finally with food ordered, we were off. The weather was dry and warm. We left Withington and soon found ourselves on a long stiffish climb through Upcote Farm to the top of Shill Hill. Sadly here we lost newcomer Julie who was feeling short of breath. Fishy leant her his mobile phone and Julie insisted that we continue and she would meet us back at the pub. Onward and downhill, Newcomer Pete had the first fall on the day, when he forgot he had new cleats on - (we’ve all been there Pete!) Through the golf course at Shipton and past the Frog Mill pub. We regrouped to cross the main A40 and onwards to Shipton Olliffe, no coffee stop at Val’s today. From here we climbed to Hampen and then on to Salperton. After a welcome Jelly Baby stop we made our way to Hazelton, soon after this a fall was sustained by Lou, who had a puncture but was ably assisted by Fishy.

We regrouped just after the A40 crossing and Al grey’un realised he had the baby seats in his car and had to make haste back to the start for a mercy dash to pick up Caroline and the granddaughters to join us for lunch. On we went through Compton Abdale up yet another steep hill, (thanks for the push Alan!), at the top some declared “enough’s enough” and took a road route back to the start. The rest of us took the hard-packed trail along the ridge and then down to Yanworth a welcome lane section took us through Cassey Compton and on inn to the Mill for a VERY well deserved meal and drinks. Just two notes to add: Bale out managed to have a near complete bike service with tinkering at each regroup; and Fishy biked to the start from home (35km) and Alan and Fishy rode the scenic routes back home fishy completing about 112km today, as if the Hell of the Cotswolds was not enough last week.

A good challenging ride Bale Out over some very scenic countryside. Thanks and I hope all the newcomers will join us again? Nature notes for the observant a hare was spotted and a new orphan lamb with a donor lambs skin on.

Date, Ride Venue:

The Cranks go Riding Shock! - The Beckford Inn on May 6th

Outrider(s):

Poisonous Ruth

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Ruth, Geoff, Terry, Alan, Fishy, Lynne, Rob, Maddog, Shaggy, Ness, Eddie, Tom

Blondes have more fun!

Despite all the hazards which had been deliberately placed in our way, such as Ashchurch, we percy veered and achieved our goal of reaching the Beckford Inn. The object of this particularly complicated and vexing operation was to ridicule Ruth’s pathetic attempt to lead a ride. Thirteen of us made it, including Ruth and Geoff, Tom made his annual appearance looking lean and keen. Smashing day, we set off and had a gentle warm up through Kemberton and Conderton, admiring the thatched cottages and ye olde Cotswolde stone. Ruth very thoughtfully took us for a jaunt around a car boot sale and then we began the ascent, up bleedin’ Bredon hill. We thought we looked extremely impressive decked out in our bright cycling gear, glistening muscles and finely tuned machines. Imagine our horror when a rather elderly couple managed to keep up with us all the way to the top. Kiwi Babe tried bribing them with Jelly Babies, pleading with them to slow down so we wouldn’t look quite so daft. Eventually we arrived at the summit puffing and blowing, but the view was worth it. We then meandered over the tower for an even more exceptional view, the elderly couple kept pace with us. Then it was around the north side plunge down to the valley bottom, great down hill, we all got good vibration from it and maybe white finger. Exhilarated we regrouped at the bottom of the hill and exchanged tales of the horror and extraordinary bravery experienced on the descent. Then Ruth was off again and we were hanging onto her apron strings as she whisked us off left and then up a big climb back to the top of the hill. Many died on this ascent. Eddie was pleased that he hashed every week to give him enough fitness to complete the ride. Tom enjoyed it but certainly paid a price, I understand he slept well for several days. Geoff made it look easy. So back at the top, we cycled straight down the other side, Maddawg and Scraterly discovered their own very special down hill, whilst the others went with Ruth, probably not as interesting. Then we were back. It was a ruthless ride, well it wasn’t cos she was with us. Good ride on a lurverly day. When we got back, Vanessa was missing, so Ruth went looking for her on Geoff’s bike, meanwhile Vanessa returned, Shaggy goes looking for Ruth, mean while Ruth returns, Fishy goes looking for Shaggy, meanwhile Shaggy returns, etc. etc. meanwhile the rest of us went in the pub.

Date, Ride Venue:

May 13th. The George at South Cerney

Outrider(s):

Al and Caroline

Distance:

Approx. 21 miles

Cranks:

Al Grey’un, Caroline, Fishy, Scratley, Kiwi Babe, Valerie, Rob, Ruth, Geoff, Nick, Shaggy, Ness, Mr Kipling, Dylan, Bradley

It was a bit tricky deciding what to wear on Sat. Would it rain or be a scorcher? Mud was assured and I wanted to stay clean but, feeling intimidated by the bare legs of the other bashers, I slipped off my thermal leggings and did right to settle for the shorts. Conditions proved perfect for biking.

We headed off through Nick’s old stamping ground, then through the lakes towards Cricklade before heading south round gravel pits and Manorbrook Lake. We then meandered around following either the blue dots or the black arrows on Al and Caroline’s map, I’m not sure which! I think we saw a bit of the Chelworth area and then turned west at Purton Stoke, across to Minety and up through Ashton Keynes, through the water park and On Inn to South Cerney after about 20 miles of pleasurable riding.

Although basically flat, the terrain was varied: some lumpy bumpy bits (with dumps in) alternating with great bridal paths and lanes. The net effect resulted in Fartlek cycling although various individual styles emerged. Fishy seemed determined to get his hillwork in and almost came a cropper in an Eddie the Eagle style attack on a pile of surplus tarmac when he ended up sliding off backwards. Conversely, Mr K sought out some serious downhills and found it in the form of a very deep puddle ­ brakes not necessary. A minute after he had hauled himself out there was another scream and Kiwi Babe, further back in the convoy and oblivious of the obstacle, fell to the same fate! Bradley and Dylan tried doing some speed work across the open fields ­ they must have well-padded shorts- and Dylan disappeared, coat tails flying. Geoff kept his head down doing some steady stamina work.

Val kept us informed with tales of her house move and of mice tucked snugly away in plastic bags. Rob substituted whines of “are we there yet?” with “where’s the pub stop?” but the hares were oblivious and decided to save the best til last. Al demonstrated his excellent eyesight: he spotted 5 deer, I just saw the rapidly departing butt of one of them. Now, old dears, Alan reckoned they were easier to spot but I didn’t see any of those either. I felt in need of my lasso on occasions with cows circling around us and another bunch facing us off across the track. Trusty steeds were spotted several times and seemed pretty excited by our exploits, pricking up their ears and prancing off around the paddocks.

Ness gave Fishy a chance to keep up his reputation by replacing her speared tyre. John tried to thwart him by preferring samples of never-seen-before valves from their round the world trips, but our hero was not to be undone and sacrificed one of his own inner tubes. The lesser mortals amongst us used the time to scoff goodies or attack other parts of our bikes with pointy sticks in an attempt to clear the mud.

Back at the pub all seemed well satisfied with the food and drink. Nick made good use of the sofas and took in a few zzzz’s. Most of us escaped as the FA cup final began but Shaggy was joined by Rich and Sarah to cheer on Liverpool amongst a den of West Ham supporters. Wonder if they got out okÉ? Many thanks to Caroline and Al for a very enjoyable ride. The geese skimming over the water on our On Inn summed it up for us: a honking good time! Write up by Lynne.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 3rd. Tredegar Arms, Bassaleg, Newport

Outrider(s):

Postman Splatt

Distance:

Approx. 19.6 miles. Height Gain 2,389 feet, High Point 842ft (or the beer stop!)

Cranks:

Postie, Horace, Alan, Terry, Pete, Bale Out, Fraser and Dawn

As promised the sun shone from start to finish we all slapped on the sun block. Bale Out arrive with a big grin and a new Scott bike having gone into the bike shop for new brake pads!! (A good salesman in Leisurelakes for sure). Fraser’s friend Dawn joined us and made apologies in advance for her slow progress (This was a cunning plan we felt, as she proved was well able to keep up with the Cranks on her admittedly heavy bike and borrowed shorts!) We left Bassaleg on quite lanes allowing us to catch up on chat with each other. The hills were hardly noticed by some, and soon the views were breathtaking. Postie pointed out some of the interesting scenes to us including one of only two transporter bridges in the UK. Along the top of the ridge overlooking the bay we rode with the smell of bluebells in our nostrils. We climbed a private road to a converted hospital that was just fantastic, with super houses, set tastefully in its’ grounds. Asked if Bale out had designed them he replied that he would have packed in several hundred more in that space! We behaved suitably until out of the estate and back onto bridleway. A climb took us into Mabley woods. Some serious downhill bits were enjoyed by all. Until at the bottom of a nice flowing bit Alan came unseated when his bike caught a rut. No sympathy from us lot until we realised he was a very strange colour and not getting up. Pete gave a cold compress and Terry gave limited TLC. Ten minutes later we were off again with the promise of a beer stop sometime soon. We stopped at a very nice pub in Draethan with a Welsh name that only Postie could pronounce and enjoyed cool drinks in the sun. Red-light joined us for a drink after suffering a tutorial all morning. All too soon we were back on the quiet lanes for the rest of the ride. (Another 6.5 miles) Postie proffered a map with a shortcut back on Inn, but us toughies declined and stuck together to the end. Postie had recced this ride well and all the climbing was on lanes or fire trails. Soon we were descending into woods with the pungent smell of wild garlic ­ It was when Pete fell into it. There was a very hairy descent on shingle/gravel that made me squeal as I couldn’t break and had to go at it flat out and prey for a safe end - luckily we all survived.

Thanks for a great ride Postie, and wonderful weather. We hope that Dawn will join us again ­ we don’t get much faster than this so you’re sure to keep up.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 6.6.6. Fostons Ash Pub.

Outrider(s):

Scrately

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Alan, Terry, Maddog, Fishy, Bale Out, Rob, Lynne, Garry, Sam, Gerty and Jonquil went for a pleasant amble through the woods.

We set off towards Climperwell then to Cauldle Green, up to Elkstone, Brimpsfield, up though Buckholt woods back to the pub for well-earned drinks.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 10th. Skyline in Wales

Outrider(s):

Kiwi babe

Distance:

Approx. 48km

Cranks:

Alan, Terry, Fishy, Ruth, Fraser and Horace.

I was wrong, it wasn’t 38km but 48, so a real challenge in the heat of the sun. The centre was quite busy, we though that most blokes would be watching footie today. But what was this?

There were lots of girls dressed in their full body armour. A distraction for our guys for sure. We started off with coffee and bacon butties, just in case anyone else arrived. Horace suggested a quick warm up ride along the flat first, as there is a long single-track climb to start with. Half an hours climbing and some of us doubted the wisdom of the ride. But a breather and water on board and we were off again. Luckily most of the climbing was done under the shade of trees ­ a blessing. We were rewarded with breathtaking views and some fantastic super single-track. I got a bit too carried away and took a ground inspection ­ result some impressive bruises. Everyone else remained unscathed. Ruth completed the rock staircase no problem. J At the top of the highest point we met some of Horace’s rough, tough mates looking a bit hot and sticky, we felt a little sorry for them with all their body armour on. However it transpired they had got a lift up in a truck. And they only just caught up with me at the very bottom!! (I was last at this point) Fishy sustained two broken spokes so decline the challenge of ‘Whites Level’ afterwards.

Beers were quickly purchased before the bar closed and blessed showers enjoyed. Birthday cakes, crisps, wine and OJ were produced and scoffed hungrily. A great birthday treat for me and a ride enjoyed by all ­ Thanks for coming along.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 13th. The Swan, Tytherington

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Fishy, Alan, Terry, Rob, Lynne, Soraya, Rodders, Garry, Max and Jon.

A cooler evening than of late must have tempted the hardy Cranks out ­ either that or we just knew Fishy would lead a great ride. A new rider, Max from Bristol joined us a little concerned as to what she had let herself in for. What’s this we thought as Rodders brought forth a tandem, who on earth would be mad enough to ride pillion with him? Well no surprise really was it! Soraya was game for a first with the Cranks. Some steering practice in the car-park assured Soraya that it was maybe safe. So off we went, uphill as usual to start with. Some very wide turning circles were required by the duo, and so we gave them plenty of room. Soraya soon got a bit cocky and went no hands and was geeing Rodders on by his backpack straps. All was going smoothly until an off-road puddle dragged the back wheel away and both were left floundering, but laughing in the mud. Lynne managed to get even muddier than these two without falling off ­ goodness knows how. Our noisy crowd overtook a young fellow minding his own business on his bike. I shouted “you can join us if you like” and he did! A fit chap, younger than all us lot and up for a ride ­ so Jon joined us on his dad’s old bike. Along lanes, bridleways and up and down hills we went, and still Jon kept up with us. We introduced him and Max to the delights of Jelly Babies. An alternative route was given for the tandem and Max, the rest of us were soon upon a deep ford and the timid (me included ­ well I had seen it before!) went round. Needless to say Fishy and Rob went straight through the ford. Lynn, conscious of her muddy appearance, got halfway across and decided a wash down was in order. The water was well over her knees. Good on you Lynne. Just after this a low metal fence caught out the unwary trying to jump it on their bikes. Garry was the first faller, and there were several refusals, we later realised that the weight of the front wheel was unlatching the gate and causing it to swing open. So a technical fault Garry, not your riding! We met up with the others and then continued back to Tytherington for a drinks, food and general natter about things biking. Welcome to Max, who despite her reservations, kept up well and remained surprisingly clean and smart in a white top. We hope to see Max and Jon again when you can make it. Thanks Dave for a well thought out ride, loads of fun ­ cheers.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 17th. The King's Head at France Lynch.

Outrider(s):

Valerie, Summer Pub Crawl

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Valerie, Alan, Terry, Bale Out, Ali, Shaggy, Ness, Nick and newcomer Karen

A swift stubby each and a hotdog to line the stomach and we were off. Up the lane heading for Bournes Green we went, quickly losing most of the riders, so back we went. Sneaky this lot, they had nipped down a footpath that soon became a great descent on a bridleway into the woods to the valley bottom. We followed the disused canal, ducking under the low branches, and all appreciating the cool air. We headed west towards Chalford and cut across the canal at the bottom of Cowcombe Hill and headed east ‘til we crossed again at the disused lock. From here we climbed up into Frampton Mansell for our first pub stop at the White Hart. It was warm and balmy outside in the sun with beautiful views across the valley. Presently Val called the “on-on”, and we were off towards and then through, Lord Bathurst’s Estate. Bridle ways they were and we were allowed on them - even though sniffy signs said No Cycles. Well we don’t take that, but Karen was a little nervous as she exercises her horses around about here! Very soon we descended to the Bell at Sapperton for another cooling drink, loafing about on the lawn. “At last” came the cry, a stretch of downhill, and we were quickly back at the canal-side at Daneway. Not a pub stop here, as we were keen to get back in time for the live music, so wistful backward glances from the guys, and on we went. A stiff climb out of Siccaridge Wood saw Karen receiving a grateful helping hand from Alan and Bale Out falling on top on Nick. At Far Oakridge we got our breath back and rode as a pack to the next pub at Oakridge, which was extremely quiet. We could hear the music in the next village so made quick progress back to Val’s to dump the bikes. We then headed down to The King’s head for a few more drinks, dancing on the tables and general merriment to the ‘Secret Police’ an exceptionally good tribute band. Sometime around midnight Nick decided to put his culinary skills to the test and produced a very good Chilli con carne. He did apologise to Valerie for using pretty well everything available in the kitchen ­ but it was well worth it and went down very well indeed.

Valerie led a very enjoyable ride, with some stunning views and some testing downhill and climbs. Well done Valerie. And thank you for your very kind hospitalities.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 20th. Salutation PH at Ham nr Berkeley.

Outrider(s):

Garry

Distance:

Approx. 19 miles.

Cranks:

Garry, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Soraya, Rob, Lynne, Valerie, Rodders, Karen and Maxine

“A gentle, flat ride all on country lanes”. A blissfully cooler evening than of late and the tandem made another appearance this time with no pillion rider. Rodders eventually cajoled Lynne into providing the rear wheel drive. So off we set for Bevington then through to Hill, from here we were soon at Rockhmpton and then on to Stone. We crossed the A38 with care, Lynn declining the ride across, and who can blame her? From stone we headed into the woods at Damery passing alongside a scenic stream. Somewhere about here Rodders and Rob swapped over and the tandem really flew along. Rob was getting a bit above his station, so Lynne put her feet up for a climb just to show how much work she was putting into the joint effort. We thought it was all over as we reached the roundabout near Berkeley, but no! More was in store. Max and Soraya nipped back for an early finish. The rest of us went to enjoy a few miles off-road. This slowed Alan down quite considerably as he was on my road bike and was cocky for the whole ride zooming along freewheeling past us all. So now he had juddered hands, arms and bum, and other bits too I suspect! Rob and Lynne had some trials on the off-road but completed without mishap. A great ride Garry, and we all kept up too, Thanks.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 24th. White Hart at Littleton on Severn.

Outrider(s):

Maddog

Distance:

Approx. 24 miles.

Cranks:

Maddog, Jonquil, Alan, Terry, Fishy, Ruth, Geoff, Pete, Soraya, Valerie, Red light, Postie, Rodders and Maxine.

All the bashers welcomed the return of JQ to the Cranks. The tandem with JQ on the back set a new slick trail-laying method with JQ marking the on at each junction. As it was difficult for the duo to get going once stopped, this was a fairly non-stop ride. (Well compared with the usual rides ­ see earlier when walkers caught us up!!). We left Littleton on Severn and made our way along Stock Hill past Titters Hill to Kington. Mumbley’s Lane to the B4461 past a vineyard. Soon we were skimming along to Tockington, then Olveston and soon in Ingst, all beautiful villages with some very exclusive houses. Just a shame the locals seemed to plaster protesting posters on every available tree and telegraph pole. NIMBY’s in the area! We headed westward and enjoyed great views of the two Seven Bridges. Excitement was growing, were we? Weren’t we crossing the Severn Bridge? We stopped at the first of the two pub stops and enjoyed drinks all round. Bikes were fettled and fixed, and sun cream applied. Off once more towards the river and Severn Beach, it certainly smelt enticingly like the sea, although looked more disappointingly like mudflats. No problem we flew along the sidewalk, with Fishy riding the steep walls up amongst the flotsam and jetsam for some distance. JQ and MD had a bit of a moment when MD took the tandem through a narrow gate to find a curb the other side. No problems then stayed in tact. Leaving the riverside Valerie asked if we were in Wales yet? Yes we said and joined Postie and Red Light in their accent. Soon in Aust we soaked up the sunshine at the second pub stop. More fettling took place, this time with Valerie’s bike. @ Fishy was sent (unbeknown to us) to see if the bridge was open to bikes. Excitement grew, and yes we did ride over the bridge. The structure is fantastic up close the cable’s size has to be seen to be believed. Fishy up to his old tricks, biked up and down the sloping edges MAD! We nearly picked up a hitch-hiker on roller blades who made hard work of the ups and made the downhill look scary. We reached Wales and dipped down under the M48 to return back to England. The views were outstanding, and just a few of us fancied the climb to the top for better views, but alas not this time. A regroup after the crossing and then up Red Hill towards Elberton and then north back to Littleton Upon Severn for well-earned drinks. Chests were bared (well just the chaps!) and a cherry tree climbed by Geoff who threw down some ripe ones for me. A contented group lounged about enjoying the satisfaction of a great ride well led. Thanks Maddog another brilliant ride and thanks JQ for marking the trail en route.

Date, Ride Venue:

June 27th. The Bell at Frampton on Severn.

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

Approx. 18 miles.

Cranks:

Fishy, Alan, Terry, Rob, Lynne, Soraya, Garry, Ali, Mike, Rodders, Maxine, Tom

A beautiful, balmy evening for this gentle road ride. We said hello to the resident piglets, kids, baby bunnies and lambs at the pub before we set off. Heading north for Saul and passing the Ship Inn, we then headed for Upper Familode and the Severns’ banks which we followed until we reached the Anchor Inn. Tuning away from the river we were soon at Longney, where we circled Monk’s Hill via quiet lanes passing through Elmore and back to Longney. From here we retraced our route until there was a cry from Soraya that her bike was crook. A little tinkering and the removal of a chain-guard saw the pack reunited and on our way again. With the deadline for food fast approaching and an empty stomach, Dave forgot his plan to play in the gravel pits and we headed back for food and drinks. MD and JQ joined us for a drink, and we were pleased to hear that JQ had no ill effects from Saturday’s ride.

Date, Ride Venue:

July 1st. Cleeve Hill Golf Clubhouse.

Outrider(s):

Pete Butler

Distance:

Approx. 21 miles.

Cranks:

Scrately, Garry, Ruth, Rob, BaleOut, Ali, Mona Lisa, Mr K, Fishy

Phew, what a scorcher.

Pete picked one of the hottest and busiest days of the year for this ride. We had to battle again a constant stream of walkers doing the Malvern Challenge just to reach the car park, having reached the car park it was a struggle for the last to arrive to find a parking place.

Just after we set off across the common, Baleout lived up to his name and provided us with the first fall of the day (Not used to that new bike?). This was followed a couple of miles later by Ali when she got stuck in a rut and took a tumble. The route headed through Wardens wood and then up the hill to Roel Gate, where we stopped for a while to get our breath back, watch the paragliders being winched up and to get eaten by horse flies.

We then went on a loop along Campden Lane to Lynes Barn, around the edge of Guiting wood and back to Roel Gate for the horse flies to have a 2nd course. After passing Chalton Abbotts we stopped off at a fantastic location for an appreciated picnic of beer, soft drinks, iced doughnuts, cookies, cakes etc. I’m sure we could have stayed there the rest of the afternoon but we had to get on back for the footy.

The last part of the ride took us passed Corndean Hall and Postlip Hall then back onto the Common to battle our way through the walkers back to the Golf Club for a welcome drink. There was a third faller, but as I can’t remember who it was. (Hard luck Garry, Alan remembered you falling attempting a technical goat track!) Thanks Pete for another great ride (approx 21 miles) and picnic.

Date, Ride Venue:

July 4th. Foston’s Ash Pub.

Outrider(s):

Scrately

Distance:

Approx. 10 miles.

Cranks:

Alan, Terry, Fishy, Maddog, Bale Out, Ali, Soraya, Rob, Lynne, Maxine, Rodders and Bradley.

All assembled for the off, nearly on time too! Straight into the narrow strip of wood opposite the pub, and this time Soraya does get a mention for her fall - a couple of hundred metres from the pub. (Last time it was on the way into the pub! ­ Getting better girl!!) Soon Max had her first taste of the great and wonderful world of off-road. The pack was rearing to go ­ and full of enthusiasm and the re-groups allowed us to get our breath back. Max was doing really well, but eventually enough was enough as the going got more sever for a first timer. Rodders took Max back into the tamer parts of the wood for some coaching and practice sessions. Despite the dry spell the undergrowth was very tight in places and most of us have the scratches today to prove it. Up and down the dippies we went, getting ever braver with each challenge. Lynne and Ali did brilliantly for their first major single track blasts. Glad you both enjoyed it; I can see you will be pushing me hard soon! The mad guys had broad grins for the entire evening.J With the exception of Maddog who broke his chain twice and shortcut back to the pub. Soraya was a little worse for wear so I joined her on the road section back to the pub.

Date, Ride Venue:

July 18th. Greyhound Inn, Eldersfield.

Outrider(s):

Scrately

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Scrately, Kiwi Babe, Fishy, Hotlips, Karen, Rodders, Mad Max and Robbo.

A re-run of the coldest ride this year on the hottest evening yet this year. Alan and I hid away hoping no one else was daft enough to turn up but a good turnout encouraged us to unload the bikes and proceed. Fishy relying on SatNav got near the pub, but not quite to the start so we left a map for him to catch us up. A very gentle pace took us north along Lime Street through Eldersfield and then onto Pendock, from here over the M5 to Whites End and onto Berrow, over the A38 and into Birtsmorton. The heat was on but we regrouped under trees for drinks and a cool-down before continuing to Lower Swell Farm south of Longdon. From here we were on the only bridleway with stunning views of the sun over the Malvern Hills. The dry atmosphere reminded some of Cyprus, the going was easy and soon we were watching pygmy goats devouring leaves from trees. We continued along the A38 and turned off for Forthampton. Max was tiring rapidly and could not understand why; Rodders proffered an energy bar for sustenance. Fishy, mindful of the last orders for food at 9.00, took orders from the hungry and set off for the pub to place orders. The rest of us ambled along to Corse Lawn and then returned via Linkend, stopping to watch the sun set over the golden wheat field - Ah!! Back to the pub and the food order was in time and enjoyed by all, especially Max who had been fantasising about Egg, Beans and Chips and delighted that Dave had managed to secure this supper for her. Max’s exhaustion was explained when Rodders discovered the front brake had be fouling the front wheel for the entire ride!! So no lass - you’re not just getting old like the rest of us!

Date, Ride Venue:

July 25th. The King's Head at France Lynch.

Outrider(s):

Hotlips

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Hotlips, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Rodders, Ruth, Shaggy, Ness, Bale Out, Ali, Max and Karen

Another chance for those who missed this brilliant ride and for those who enjoyed it to do it all over again - the riders enjoyed this ride all over again. Thanks Valerie.

Date, Ride Venue:

July 29th. Royal Oak, Andoversford.

Outrider(s):

Scratley, Kiwi Babe and Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Scratley, Terry, Fishy, Bale Out, Ali, Ruth, Geoff and Fraser

No Writeup forthcoming ­ so will do the ride again.

Date, Ride Venue:

August 1st. Rose and Crown Nympsfield.

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Fishy, Alan, Terry, Bradley and Garry

As only what Dave considered “Quick” (or gullible!) riders turned up, he led us at a merciless pace over some steep up-hills and very tricky down sections. After an innocuous enough start down through the beautiful Woodchester Park we went on to Woodchester, then uphill to Rodborough, and then downhill and back up again to Amberley. From here we took the W’s down to Nailsworth and then uphill once again to Shortwood past the football ground. A further climb took us across some spectacular scenery and back to Nympsfield where a well-earned drink was enjoyed. Thanks Dave for the training run. J Cheers.

Date, Ride Venue:

August 5th. Riverstone House, Colesbourne.

Outrider(s):

Bale Out

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Bale Out, Ali, Fishy, Terry, Alan, Rob, Lynne, Al Grey’un, Caroline, Yob, Louise, Valerie, Karen, Shaggy, Ness Binliner, Lin, Rodders, Dr. Dolittle, Pat, Maxine, Maggie, Eddie, Bradley, Barr, Ewan, Trudy and Plodders.

What a turnout, must be high summer (Or the promise of food and drink at the end) what a fickle lot we are! Once assembled the group set off along the lanes and were soon peddling hard uphill. At the top Bale Out gave us our first option: - either a rough track downhill and the same climb again or continue onwards slowly until the other caught up again. Fair play a good few took the down and up again option. The pace was steady, with so many new people joining us ­ we had a lot of introductions and stories to swap on the way. Up hill and down dale we went biking as a pack very well for a good 12 or 13 miles until we passed by the Colesbourne pub.

Bale Out stated that this would be the On-Inn, and so a pub stop was thwarted. Not to be left thirsty several riders stopped at the nearby garage for a top-up. On leaving the garage they followed Fishy down the wrong track. Not catching us up most turned back and said, “Bugger it - we’re going down the pub” ­ and so they did. Fishy led Lynne on a quiet ride ­ just the two of them - until Rob caught them up and suggested an early exit to Lynne who then went back to the pub too. The rest of us continued up even more hills and down some really good downhill bits. Hunger and thirst, together with that satisfying worn out feeling started to set in. But low and behold we then found the rest of the gang guzzling beer, and by the noise not just the one! So reunited we spent a good hour mellowing out and putting the world to rights. Back then to Bale outs’ for one of the scummiest Barbeques ever, with wine and beer flowing freely.

Thanks Ali and Dave for a great ride (record-breaking turnout!) and for your kind generosity. Testament to the fitness several of us rode home in the dark, and even better quite a few rode up too!

Date, Ride Venue:

August 19th. Tredegar Taff Bash for Softies.

Outrider(s):

Horace (HOBO)

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Horace, Orville, Postie, Red Light, Fanny Belt, Fishy, Alan, Terry Maddog, Soraya, Max, Pete and the Geman guy staying at HOBO’s. Apologies to anyone I’ve forgotten...

No ride for softies was this, N.B. Horace was being ironic! The group set off uphill following Nash Bash flour markings. Postie convinced me knew the way “‘cause it was this way last time” took me uphill for a couple of miles just to retrace our tracks nearly back to the start. The trail was brilliantly marked and we circled round several reservoirs, doubling back at many different turns. Max was nervous on this her first mainly stony ride. We tried to assure her that after her first fall she would be okay about stones ­ to no avail alas. We eventually had a pub stop at a pub called Bridgend, where we enjoyed a snack and drinks all round. Finally we had to leave and we eventually ended up walking through a disused train tunnel. Alan rode it all, but we only have his word for it as nobody could see. Boy was it long and completely dark. Maddog and Fishy had rear lights that the rest of us followed; the odd high-pitched nervous laugh was heard. Adjoining the tunnel there was a disused water chute that Horace suggested some of us may like to try out. Fishy and Alan looked but declined this challenge. Apparently Horace laid a hash this way and most did do the chute. Hashers madder than Bashers?? From here on the going was a little easier and after several miles we were in another pub called Bridgend enjoying yet more drinks. As time was getting on and MD had a party to go to back home the majority decided to take the very welcome lift back to the start with Bo and Horace in their cars.

A very well marked trail Horace you did brilliantly. I think this may be a record for the longest ever laid trail. Thanks from all of us. Pete, Fishy, Alan and I decided to ride back re-tracing the route back through the tunnel, and then over the downs back once again to Tredegar. We hoped to join Horace and some others in the pub after a shower but it transpired that Horace fell asleep in the evening and that was it for him, so Bo joined us down the pub.

Date, Ride Venue:

August 19th. Tredegar Taff Bash for Softies.

Outrider(s):

Horace (HOBO)

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Horace, Orville, Postie, Red Light, Fanny Belt, Fishy, Alan, Terry Maddog, Soraya, Max, Pete and the Geman guy staying at HOBO’s. Apologies to anyone I’ve forgotten...

No ride for softies was this, N.B. Horace was being ironic! The group set off uphill following Nash Bash flour markings. Postie convinced me knew the way “‘cause it was this way last time” took me uphill for a couple of miles just to retrace our tracks nearly back to the start. The trail was brilliantly marked and we circled round several reservoirs, doubling back at many different turns. Max was nervous on this her first mainly stony ride. We tried to assure her that after her first fall she would be okay about stones ­ to no avail alas. We eventually had a pub stop at a pub called Bridgend, where we enjoyed a snack and drinks all round. Finally we had to leave and we eventually ended up walking through a disused train tunnel. Alan rode it all, but we only have his word for it as nobody could see. Boy was it long and completely dark. Maddog and Fishy had rear lights that the rest of us followed; the odd high-pitched nervous laugh was heard. Adjoining the tunnel there was a disused water chute that Horace suggested some of us may like to try out. Fishy and Alan looked but declined this challenge. Apparently Horace laid a hash this way and most did do the chute. Hashers madder than Bashers?? From here on the going was a little easier and after several miles we were in another pub called Bridgend enjoying yet more drinks. As time was getting on and MD had a party to go to back home the majority decided to take the very welcome lift back to the start with Bo and Horace in their cars.

A very well marked trail Horace you did brilliantly. I think this may be a record for the longest ever laid trail. Thanks from all of us. Pete, Fishy, Alan and I decided to ride back re-tracing the route back through the tunnel, and then over the downs back once again to Tredegar. We hoped to join Horace and some others in the pub after a shower but it transpired that Horace fell asleep in the evening and that was it for him, so Bo joined us down the pub.

Date, Ride Venue:

Sept 2nd. The Yew Tree Inn Clifford’s Mesne.

Outrider(s):

Lynne & Rob

Distance:

Approx. 16.25 miles.

Cranks:

Lynne, Rob, Fishy, Scrately, Kiwi Babe, Maddog, JQ, Mr Kipling, Ms Battenburg, Plodders, Wingnut and Eddie Ormond.

A great turnout as the weather forecast was dire. A warm-up loop took us uphill and round for _ hour by then the drizzle had stopped and we were back at the car. A puncture had to be fixed so most of us took off our waterproofs and lightened the load for the promised hills. Once again up hill but this time a treat awaited us near the top of May Hill. Coffee served and doughnuts on a silver salver. Class! From here we followed the bash markings to the top of the very wind-swept hill. The views were somewhat shrouded in mist, but we imagined they were good. Lynne and Rob laid a great trail, with hard and easy alternative downhill routes on two occasions. Not too many took the easy route it has to be said. Good on you all. Punctures abounded with Maddog taking the biscuit with a snakebite and another puncture. Lynne and plodders also suffered the same fate. We saw some very majestic highland cattle complete with large bar-ends and ginger fringes. For the scavenging amongst us (well me) the booty was great this week with fresh plums, damsons, apples and blackberries for the taking. Yum. With the wind in our faces we set off downhill to Box Bush where we checked for any markings. Maddog suggested that if it were a smaller village it could be call Brazilian Bush! We milled about for a while not willing to admit we had taken a wrong check, but eventually we had to call the hares to find out what was amiss. Rob was fixing Lynne’s puncture (or the other way around ­ we don’t know). Yes, we had missed a turning, so On-Back uphill. Fishy who had been off exploring came back in a hurry when a tree blew over into the road just missing him. Luckily no harm done. So with a little help here and there the pack rode back uphill towards the missing arrow. The unexpected heat was getting to some of us ­ it was truly muggy as well as muddy in some places. A welcomed pub stop was enjoyed at The Glasshouse pub, Lynne shared her well-earned glass of port. Back on the bikes we passed two beautiful donkeys resplendent with crosses languished in a field. Starting down off Huntley Hill the going was interesting, and towards the bottom very near impossible. Just The Fish and Scrat rode the mud plugs unscathed, Rob and Maddog did synchronised falls one either side of the track. We completed the ride while Lynne nipping back to ensure the landlord would still serve us. The food at The Yew Tree was very good, and if it hadn’t been for the vegetarians beating us to it then there may have been veggies to go around. But that was a small price to pay ­ anyway most of us had eaten too much fruit by then.

A brilliant, well thought out first Bash, Lynne and Rob, you did the Cranks proud. Thanks very much indeed. Cheers. 16.25 miles and loads of smiles.

Date, Ride Venue:

Sept 5th. Halfway Inn.

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

Approx. 16.25 miles.

Cranks:

Riders Fishy, Terry, Alan, Shaggy, Ness, (new) Alan, and Alex (Long and Hard)

A warm late summer’s evening, and the assembled were led up Box Lane and over Minchinhampton Common and through the village. Departing Minch along Woefuldane Bottom and turned off for Crackstone. From here we were on the first off-road tracks enjoying the last rays of light. We passed the Devil’s Churchyard without noticing, and joined the lanes once again. A speedy pace was kept up throughout the road sections as we headed towards Sapperton. Just before we reached the village we turned south along a rutted, overgrown bridleway. (I’m sure Del Boy had been along here in his Robin!) For about 3km we were dodging ruts and brambles, so when the opportunity to detour back onto lanes was presented Dave allowed us to. It was here that we found out that new rider Alan, had not ridden off road before, let alone in the dark! Well done mate ­ it’s taken us lot years to get this bad!! The road route was a little further but we didn’t care. Owls hooted and the air was warm and clear. From Rodmarton the trail led us to Windmill Tump and on to Yewtree Plantation. Here we headed NW to Cherington, along the lane past Hampton Fields crossing the Avening Road and retracing our route out back via Minch back to Box. A drink of two were enjoyed at the very stylish Halfway Inn, before we departed tired but having had a very good first dark Cranks ride this Autumn. Well done new rider Alan, I hope you join us again. Thanks Fishy for a great ride ­ The lip is healing up quite well!

Date, Ride Venue:

Sept 9th - 10th. Gower Weekend Scurlage Gower.

Outrider(s):

Orville, Postie Splatt & Luv Machine

Distance:

Approx. 16.25 miles.

Cranks:

Postie, Red Light, Love Machine, Orville, Fanny Belt, Period Pain, Horace, Maddog, JQ, Terry, Alan, Fishy, Bale Out, Rodders, Martini, Hotlips, Garry, Jason, Pete, Mudguard, Metrognome, Knead, Keith, Maxine, Fraser, Dawn, Charlie, Rising Damp, Plodders and Pick up. (Hope I’ve not forgotten anyone.) Non-riders: - Playgirl, Karen and Piper (The bestest spotty dog in the Gower) enjoyed lovely walks on the beaches and Piper slept well in a tent.

Saturday: A veritable hot day awaited us and the excitement grew. We started the day with a quick nip down to the farm for a very hearty breakfast. We returned to the RFC for final joining instructions and map from the SAGA crew. Chomping at the bit and all bikes now in a road-worthy state thanks mainly to Fishy; we were off. The roads were narrow and busy in the main but the off-road was delightful, with loose gravely downhills, rocky ascents and undulating grassy downhills that were deceptive in trapping the unwary. Orville was the first faller being unseated on such a downhill. Luckily for him his tummy took the brunt of the fall and just two grazed knees were sustained. Cows on tracks became a feature of this ride and they unnerved some of the riders, and the resulting slippery going tested the best of us. Between us we had so many punctures that the first pub had shut up shop ­ so we continued onwards and upwards. The second pub was very accommodating and served very good food. A special treat was in store for Maddog when a hummingbird hawk moth was spotted. From here we made our way to Rhossili beach where Alan, Fishy and Garry left us for the high ground. The rest of us followed the contours above the beach, some nerves were tested as some didn’t like the cows and some disliked the drop on the right-hand side. The views were outstanding and far-reaching to Worms Head. I waited to see everyone safely through a muddy patch only later to fall elbow-deep into the worst mud-bath ever. Bog monster! The next pub stop was only a short dash away, and I scrubbed up fairly well. We lingered over several drinks not wanting to leave the pub with what must be the best views in all of Wales. So we had another, and yet another drink. Then as time was getting on, and my gloves had long since dried, we reluctantly set off for the campsite. A fantastic ride, thanks to all the SAGA team for all the hard work put into the day. A very pleasant evening was enjoyed with very good food at the RFC, unfortunately the club were not warned about hashers/bashers and the drinks were limited!! Note - take a barrel (or two) next time.

Sunday: Off to the farm for breakfast for most of us. Fishy escaped with Postie for a model gliding session first thing. Alan did a good job of sorting bikes out for the gang, sadly mine needs more than a tinker to sort out the creaking, so ‘Billy No Mates’ again today for me. Maddogs’ bike was unusable so Rodders offered to lend his and he would commandeer Soraya for pillion on the tandem. Off we set in the heat, bottles full of water and energy bars at the ready. Again some brilliant riding, together with Jelly Baby stops and punctures galore. The mother of all thorns was Fanny Belt’s - it was at least 4cm long. We took the pace steady and arrived at the pub ready for a snack. Just as we were about to leave JQ’s tyre started to go down ­ must just have been in sympathy. From here the party split up as some had to get home earlier than the rest. Therefore a direct route by road for some, and others took the longer route. Fishy, Alan and I extended the route up and over some hills and then went back along yesterday’s route by Rhossili back on-in. On our return we found all our friends had departed, the clubhouse locked and a cold hosepipe for a shower. A fantastic weekend away, thank to all who helped out on the day and behind the scene. A great taster of things to come for the next Nash Bash.

Date, Ride Venue:

Sept 16th. Dockers Club, Sharpness.

Outrider(s):

Garry and Rodders

Distance:

Approx. 25 miles.

Cranks:

Garry, Rodders, Maddog, JQ, Terry, Scratley, Fishy, Ruth, Geoff, Soraya, Mr Kipling, Sue, Ness, Al, Caroline, Max, Valerie, Karen, Plodders and Alan

The weather forecast was for sun and fine, but although it warmed up somewhat the sun never broke through. We set off in a northerly direction along the canal towpath. A cracking pace was set by MD and Scrat with the rest of us in hot pursuit. Regroups happened at the bridges as most of them were closed for boats. Rodders’ Lidle’s deformed jelly babies were laughed at but no one refused and they were eaten with gusto. Continuing along the canal-side we saw a family of swans with 5 or 6 signets drifted lazily by. Two heron took flight above us. We left the canal at Splatts Bridge and headed for Frampton on Severn, taking in some off-road tracks. We had a regroup, for a replay of Maddog’s belly flop into a deep puddle, but he was unwilling to recreate the scene. And who can blame him? - The gravel bank was sheer this time. Soraya was taking a phone call and was so engrossed that she fell into the ditch whilst mounting her bike. She emerged still chatting away, now covered in sticky burrs. Alan got his timing spot-on bunny hopping into a deep puddle and drenched me! Short rations my lad! We then left Frampton along lanes to Whitminster. We joined the A38 briefly before turning back towards the Anchor Inn at Epney. A snack and drinks were enjoyed here, while Fishy, true to reputation, fixed Sue’s bike amongst others. Half of the gang had to get back early so Garry led them off home never to be seen again. The rest of us followed moments later led by Rodders. We continued on quiet lanes to Saul. Lanes then took us to Rodder’s house where the proffered coffees and teas were enjoyed and those with energy to spare played on the trampoline. Revived, the remaining few made our way back to Sharpness to the cars. Fishy once again rode there and back. Total mileage 25 - about the longest Cranks ride but considering the height gain was something akin to the height of a bungalow we were not too worn out. Thanks Garry and Rodders for a fine ride.

Date, Ride Venue:

Sept 26th. Buthay Inn, High St. Wickwar.

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

Approx. 13.5 miles.

Cranks:

Fishy, Alan, Terry, Garry, Max and Plodders.

A beautiful day culminated with a fabulous sunset and we were out there enjoying it. J We set off from Wickwar for West End, then over the railway bridge waving madly at a southbound train. No response, miserable driver. Dave challenged us to get to the next bridge before the train ­ we’re good, but not that good Dave. The North bound train gave us a hoot! Yes! Are we ever going to grow up? From the next rail bridge we took New Road then Limekiln Road and along Tanhouse Lane to cross Wickwar Road. From here we headed along Mapleridge Lane and turned into Lady’s Wood; by now darkness had truly descended and it was a bit unnerving with animals running alongside us unseen. We kept close and navigated the wood with no mishaps. The going was smooth other than the crunching of nut shells under wheels. Leaving the woods we took Vinney Lane uphill to Horton. We stopped to regaining our breath and eat Jelly Babies, after which we were ready for the off. Turning north we soon found ourselves in Hawksbury, from here on to Hawksbury Common and on to Orange End. (How do places get names like this? But it would be a good place for Borange). Crossing Inglestone Common, we joined Chase Lane leading downhill back to the Wickwar and the pub. A lovely evening ride Fishy - well thought out for an introductory ride for newcomers to night rides off-road. We’ll all be back for more and I’m sure this would make a good daytime ride too - we could see where we’ve been.

Date, Ride Venue:

Oct 7th. Whiteshill, Standish woods and Haresfield Beacon, Edge Common.

Outrider(s):

Maddog

Distance:

-

Cranks:

-

It could not have been a finer day for this beautiful ride, which saw 17 Cranks members assemble in the village of Whiteshill to begin what was a pretty full-on day of punctures, repairs and some falls! Having been briefed by an effervescent Maddog, we followed flour trails up some pretty steep roads until we entered Standish Woods where the trail turned to purple poster paints and the combination of leaves and damp tree roots saw a few of us taking tumbles. I think the tally was three to Bailout, two to Sharon and a later graceful tumble along the Cotswold Way to Alison, close on Hotlips’ heels up some tortuous steep climb. Well manouvered out of SPD’s though!

In Standish woods there was time for some ‘play’ as the committed took a long downhill with some impressive jumps and bumps. I think that Ali would have wanted a full-face helmet for this one! Mona’s bike had a ‘mind of its own’ as she let it go down the bank.. still didn’t damage it enough to justify a new bike. Better luck next time!

It was ‘on on!’ borrowing the trail of the Cotswold way to Haresfield Beacon where we surrounded a hapless group of walkers and gazed at the views across to the Severn Estuary and the five Valleys of Stroud. Then back to some serious cow poos as Pebbles found a nail imbedded in her tyre. Ruth’s new Marin saw her through the uphills as we went back into the woods now on flour, and Maddog urged Postie and Red Light to try and turn a nasty right hand corner (which saw him make friends with the tree stump). Another tumble and more punctures ensued culminating in Maddog setting up a new derailleur and Jonquil getting another flat!! Sporting the new pump, Maddog announced to a credulous audience that it was ‘a better action pressing down than in the wanking position!!!!!!!!!!’ No wonder we needed fig rolls and a lengthy debate about the pros of Lidl bike wear versus Gore!

Karen throughout the ride showed great determination and courage for her first, or was it second, offroad ride. In fact she was seen at one point pushing Maddog up a hill.

After another scenic ride across Edge common then a bit of weaving between the trees the group were treated to a picnic from Maddog’s van at the Haresfield Beacon. Once all were satiated there was fast downhill, overtaking traffic ­ even that naughty Geoff, back to Whiteshill and a welcome pint in the Star Inn. A great ride and thanks to Maddog and Pebbles.

Date, Ride Venue:

Oct 10th Tuesday 7.00pm night ride ­ Whitminster,

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Dave, Terry, Alan, Garry and Fraser.

A fast, furious bash along the bike track until a climb into the woods that was very soggy. A fine evening ride enjoyed by the few.

Date, Ride Venue:

Oct 21st. Brockweir Forest of Dean.

Outrider(s):

Ali and Mike

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Ali, Mike¸ Fishy, Alan, Terry, Maddog, Jonquil, Rodders, Mr Kipling, Ruth, Pete, Mona, Max, Yob, Lou, Fraser, Dawn, Plodders and Keith.

We eventually all assembled and were off by 11.30. We started steady on the road warming the legs for the inevitable climb. From near Tintern we climbed Catbrook Hill; so many of us were chatting we barely noticed the hill (and it was a good one). Still chatting we were welcomed at the top by cakes and coffee provided by Ali and Mike. From here on the views glimpsed through the breaks in the woods were outstanding. The going was muddy and wet in parts leading to some mischievous puddle jumping and general splashing around. The day was warm so no one minded and the joys of Autumn were with everyone ­ I’ve not seen so many smiles. : )

Mona had a bit of a moment on some slippery boulders but overcame the challenges. The leading by Ali and Mike from the back was interesting with some discussions over which way to go on several occasions. Hunger was taking its toll and an extremely fast descent took us down to the River Wye bank where we compared muddy faces and even muddy teeth. Max, who has remained totally immaculate so far riding with us even had just a tiny splattering of very fetching speckles. The rest of us were plastered. Dawn looked particularly muddy on her face, and is thinking of asking Santa for Crud catchers for Christmas. Fishy’s new beard disappeared into an all-over red/brown face. Maximum speed I attained was 30.5mph I bet you guys beat that? Any offers? A swift ride along the disused railway took us to The Boat for drinks and sausage and chips. This pub must take the award for the very worst loo in Gloucestershire ­ in fact anywhere really! Grim. Chips served (eventually) and consumed, we were off once again. Back along the riverside to Bigsweir where Fraser and Dawn left us for home. The rest of us crossed the bridge and followed the Offa’s Dyke Path. It started to rain and some of us stopped to put on waterproofs. Soon it became apparent to us at the back that the leaders had taken a wrong tuning uphill. Still it was raining so we called on-on and went on. The steep camber caught Plodders out and he and his bike elegantly slipped downhill for quite some distance. The others, when they did back-track led Lou along the same route with the same outcome. No injuries we hope. The pace picked up as the end was near. Back at Brockweir bridge the guys cleaned the bikes in the Wye; and why not?

Cleaning ourselves took longer and after waiting for Mike to retrieve his car from the top of the hill a small group of us went to Tintern Parva station for coffee and cakes. A fitting end to a very enjoyable and fun ride. Thanks Mike and Ali, and Happy Birthday to Mike for 22nd and Happy Birthday to youngster Fraser for next Wednesday.

Date, Ride Venue:

Nov 4th. Ian House (Ride followed by bonfire & food).

Outrider(s):

Mr K & Ms Battenburg

Distance:

Approx. 23 miles.

Cranks:

Ian, Sue, Alan, Fishy, Ruth, Geoff, (and his mate), Maddog, Jonquil, Bale Out, Ali, Mono Lisa, Lou, Yob, Plodders, Ali, Mike, Max, Pete and Molly

I took Gerty for a stroll and then we just relaxed until the riders returned cold and hungry. Mr Kipling and Sue did us proud with a fabulous supper of hot stew with dumplings followed after the firework spectacular, by bread and butter pud. Cheese and biscuits filled spaces that were not really there. Thanks Ian and Sue for a truly grand afternoon and evening. And didn’t the youngsters do well?

Date, Ride Venue:

-

Outrider(s):

Scratley

Distance:

Approx. 13 miles.

Cranks:

Ali, Mike, Ali, Bale Out, Lou, Yob, Ruth, Geoff, Mona Lisa, Avril, Rodders, Plodders, Marcus, Frazer, Keith, Dillon, Scratley, Fishy

A better than expected turn out for a ride that was going to be wet according to the weathermen. Okay, the ground was wet, but we had blue skies and sunshine. The route headed through Andoversford and onto the A40 for a short while before it turned into the village of Whittington and up the first hill of the day in the direction of Cleeve Common.

At the top of the hill we turned right towards Woodland farm and onto the first bit of track and mud. Here we had the first faller of the day while walking down the track (It might have been safer to ride). I did not see what was happening at the bottom of the hill in a big muddy puddle but there were a few shouts and screams from that direction. New rider Avril found the mud sticky going when her shoe was left stuck in the mud.

After a wet/slippery/muddy climb we were back on top of the hill at the Southern end of Cleeve Common where Avril had the first puncture of the ride. While this was being fixed and a short cut taken, the main group carried onto the Common to Wontley farm (or what is left of it). Then down the Bridleway past Westwood House and onto the road to Brockhampton where we all met up again.

We climbed through the village and onto the top of the hill then turned right to do the fast downhill bridleway running down the edge of the hill to Syreford before returning to Andoverford for food, drink and a bike wash in the stream for those that could stand the cold water.

Well done to Avril on her first ride, we hope to see you again. Thanks Scratley for leading the ride, it was going to be a re-run of a ride done by a few earlier in the year, as it so happened with the ground and weather conditions etc it ended up being almost a completely new ride.

Date, Ride Venue:

Dec 2nd. Red Cow in Pontsticill.

Outrider(s):

Horace (HOBO)

Distance:

Approx. 13 miles.

Cranks:

Horace, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Maddog and Fraser.

We assembled in the car park amid horseboxes and riders. Horses milled around waiting their off. A quick visit to the pub loo; the roaring log fire was inviting and tempted us to just loaf around drinking. But no - we were here to ride. I managed to beat Soraya’s record and fell off my bike when it jammed before leaving the car-park, just about avoiding falling into a horsebox. Much cheering from the riders followed me down the road! Eventually I caught up the guys and the ride followed quiet lanes and bridleways, giving us wonderful views. Sadly it did start to rain, but we were tough guys and it didn’t phase us. Eventually the crunch point came where we had to decide on a long (well very LONG) loop or continue on the ride proposed. Seeing as we were wet and the loop would have meant a 40 miler, a vote sort of took place and we decided that my knee and Frasers’ ankle wouldn’t be up to it. Phew a close call there then! Horace may have thought we were softie English but had the good grace not to voice this! The rain had stopped by now and the wind was behind us. The route followed part of the national trail, and those of us near the back heard Horace’s warning but unfortunately Maddog and Fishy were out of earshot, and so they both did a close board inspection of the slimy wooden bridge. Jelly babies all round and the incident was a distant memory. After a nice steady fire trail road we turned right onto a stony downhill, running with water, just round a bend we saw Fishy testing the water with a bike on top of him. We called him the battered fishy from then on. Later we cycled alongside the narrow-gauge railway with a diesel steam train (?). We were tempted to stop for Welsh cakes and coffee but the though of that warm pub was just too much and we kept going. Passing over the dam we admired the architecture on the water overflow on the reservoir. This is where Fishy noticed a split in his rear tyre. “Great - I loathed this Michelin tyre” he said (only lasted since October). Back at the pub before the horseman we bagged the warm seats around the fire. Brilliant, very cheap food was enjoyed by all along with fine ales. Thanks Horace for a great ride, we promise we will do the long route in the spring.

Date, Ride Venue:

Dec 16th. Green Man at Fownhope.

Outrider(s):

Keith and Rodders

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Tabby (Keith) and Rodders, Terry, Alan. Fishy, Mr Kipling, Bale out, Ali, Ruth, Pete, Jason, Adam, Postie, Red Light, Plodders and Bradley.

After a beautiful drive we assembled ready for the off. Oh! And a record was set when Ali managed to get Bale Out there and ready for the start early. Well done you two. (Must be the Scooby!) Just milling about in the car park Scratley’s gear cable snapped, a case of many hand make light work and we were offÉ.. A false start meant the last to leave led the ride? A steady road climb warmed us as we reached Wessington and onto Broadmoor Common. A further climb took us into Canwood Knoll and up to Woolhope Cockshoot. Soon we were at aptly named The Wonder on Marcle Hill where the brilliant ridge afforded outstanding views for a couple of miles. This was a very tricky section, muddy and very slippery. Most of us made the ride through although others had to keep clearing their wheels of mud. Jason and Adam laughed at me when my wheels slipped away below me, only to get their comeuppance moments later. Te He. Relieved to be back on the road we cleared our tyres for easier going. We were treated to ‘Boobies’ instead of jelly babies on this ride. When we remounted there were several punctures. These fixed we headed off to catch up with Mr K, who had called us and warned of a very slippery downhill. A tense few moments followed where us mortals took things steady and Fishy and Scrat bombed down the hill at great speed. Back on the road we kept up a good pace but had lost quite a bit of time with the 6 punctures and the muddy section. A group decision was made to cut out the next off-road section and double back towards Wessington Farm and follow the on-on, on-inn so to speak. The agreement was that Tabby promises to lead a ride in this brilliant area again in the spring. All were safely back in one piece this week. Good drinks and fine food was enjoyed by all at the Green Man. Thanks Keith and Rodders for the excellent ride ­ we all enjoyed it ­ well done.

Date, Ride Venue:

Dec 22nd. Salutation PH at Ham near Berkeley

Outrider(s):

Soraya and Rodders

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Soraya, Rodders, Alan, Terry, Fishy, Maddog, Jonquil, Al Grey’un, Caroline, Rob, Lynne, Mona Lisa, Ruth, Plodders, Bomb Head, Tabby, Mr Kipling, Sue, Yob, Lou, Max, Marcus, Fraser, Avril and some new friends whose names escape me! Sorry

A foggy night greeted the joyous riders at the Salutation. About 26 rider assembled ready for the off. The trail was very well marked and good job too as mostly there were just muffled “on-on”s called by anonymous riders in the distance. A few miles away from the start and low and behold we found ourselves in a warm inviting pub for the first drink of the evening. (Or second for a few revellers). Back out into the fog to goodness know where we followed the trail into a back garden. And what had we here? Garry’s kitchen, laden with wonderful homemade mince pies fresh from the oven, mmmÉ. Oh! And port to warm the cockles. Thanks Tracey, Charlotte and the other cooks for the mince pies and port. Not wanting to leave but with only washing up left the group departed once more into the fog. Verily within walking distance we were once again in a pub - The Salmon I think. For another quick drink or two. From here the group made their way back to the Salutation for more drinks and merriment. The pub did us proud with a great beef hotpot and crusty bread to warm us through. Soraya judged the best fancy dress awards and gave prizes to Bomb Head, Mona Lisa, Lynne and Mr Kipling (a very good snowman.) Thanks Soraya and Rodders for a great Tinsel Bash ­ suffice it to say I haven’t the foggiest where we were at any given time or place!

Date, Ride Venue:

Dec 27th. Spa Inn, Stonehouse.

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

Approx. 19 miles.

Cranks:

Ride one: Fishy, Maddog, Terry, Ruth, Geoff, Ian and Alan (not Scrat). Ride two: Fishy, Maddog, Terry, Ruth, Geoff, Ian, Alan, Soraya, Yob, Avril, Valerie, George, Nick, Marcus, Dave and a few new friends.

Ride one: Dry and clear we were ready on time, and set off with Fishy leading the way. A quick spin through Stonehouse took us to the hill passing the old Standish Hospital, (We said hello to Plodders lone sheep!) half way up the hill Alan had a puncture so Fishy stayed to help him, sending us onwards and upwards. We hung about for ages and I decided to go back down the hill to help. No sign of the lads at all, so back up the hill again. Maddog came part way back to get me and said Fishy and Alan had taken a bridleway but no problem ‘cause Fishy was repairing his bike now. We eventually got together again only to see The Fish now stuck in one gear with the rear changer completely cream crackered. So much time was lost by this time that the ride was sadly curtailed somewhat. The downhill section was interesting through the woods with some tricky bits on the steep loose leaves J Mindful of the time we made haste for the pub to meet the assembled riders for the second ride.

Ride two: A great turnout for this ride, obviously the later start helps the sleepy ones. The trail was laid in Nash marking which Fishy explained to the newcomers. And we were off. Leaving Oldends we were soon on the canal bank heading for Eastington, from here we followed the trail on to Churchend and then onto Frocester and to Leonard Stanley and King’s Stanley. A regroup on the roundabout gathered us all together. A this point Fishy gave George, Nick and Valerie a short cut back onto the bike trail missing out the hillier parts, the rest of us followed the hill up towards Selsley and then swiftly downhill for a sit down near the old railway line waiting for the others to arrive. Brakes got very hot and Geoff tested them all out for the most used (hottest) ones. All together once again we rode speedily along the bike path back to Oldends Lane and the Spa Inn. This was supposed to be a belly buster but the great food undid all the good work. Oh well! they were both great rides ­ thanks for all your hard work Fishy ­ hope you get your bike fixed for the New Year.

Date, Ride Venue:

Jan 6th. Rose and Crown Nympsfield.

Outrider(s):

Maddog

Distance:

Approx. 15.5 miles.

Cranks:

Maddog, Jonquil, Alan, Terry, Fishy, Garry, Ruth, Geoff, Mr Kiping, Sue, Soraya, Plodders, Rob, Lynn, and welcome to newcomer Chris (who did exceptionally well!)

Firstly the promise of a laid ride excited us riders, who were all mightily impressed that Maddog was out in the terrible weather laying a trail at all. Fifteen of us hearty souls turned up to support this ride. Wellies for Lynn and many strange and glorious headgear and waterproofs were donned. Geoff had forgotten to pack his helmet and so Ruth lent him hers and she wore her riding helmet. To cheers of “Tally Ho!” we were off. A right-hand turn took us into the Woodchester Estate for some fun playing around. Fishy and Plodders couldn’t believe their eyes when they spotted an escaped wild boar. (and it wasn’t any of us either!). It was ‘Spot the accident black-spot’, and we did; the infamous fall Ali got her teeth into one evening a couple of years back. Later on Maddog showed us where he fell earlier laying the trail, so he rode it again and most followed, some of us sensible ones used the adjacent steps. A slipper time for us all and 3 faults awarded for Ruth’s refusal. Mounted up once more we headed on downhill towards Inchbrook in the valley The descent to Crystal Fountain Mills was very tricky and best described as skiing pulling a bike down with you. MAD! Maddog appeared at the bottom looking like he was made from clay ready for firing. A fairly scary sight ­ sorry Maddog. The markings were bearing up well in the rain and we soon found ourselves on the cycle track heading for Nailsworth. A short, sharp climb with steps brought us onto the lane to Theescombe and on to St Cloe’s. From here we went into the woods mainly following the contours of the hill. Some tricky wet roots, deep mud, puddles, and fallen trees were all navigated with varying degrees of skill. Finally a tricky bit required the bikes to be pushed steeply uphill, (and us girls too!) Thanks guys. Lynn being and independent type was having none of it and attempted to go it alone on an unmarked climb. She and her bike were rescued by Garry and Maddog ­ good points for trying though Lynne ­ possibly hindered by the wellies. Later on MD reminisced over his and Alan’s mega fall in what is now referred to as Black Cat Lane - not to be repeated. We were all getting pretty soaked by now so the pub stop was cancelled. The trail led us back onto the cycle track and then a steady assent towards North Woodchester. Water Lane took the brunt of the steepness out of the climb by transversing the steep assent. A few foolhardy (or fit) ignored this and took the very steep road climb towards Selsley Common. The Group got split up here and we realised no one had seen Ruth for some time. As she is a cub-scout leader we reassured Geoff that she would find her way back. By now the fog was thick on the common and the sensible action was to ride on the grass and then into the woods. This was much safer and Fishy, Alan and I cheered Geoff along, as he was getting a bit weary by this time. Just after the Gliding club mother and son were back together. Ah! A very soggy group reunited at the pub for hot drinks and hearty food. Sadly Maddog was chilled to the bone and had to depart for a long soak in a scented bath prepared by JQ. All was well; he was fit and dancing until the early hours that night. Thanks for a brilliant ride Maddog, it’s so good to ride a laid trail. Cheers, we really do appreciate the hard work and effort you put into this ride.

Date, Ride Venue:

Jan 20th. The Salmon Inn.

Outrider(s):

Garry

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Garry, Maddog, JQ, Wingnut

Gazzers ride was flipping ace, expecting to be riding through wave upon wave of driving rain we were delighted to meander around in brilliant sunshine. A real tonic after that stupid maddog's ride a fortnight before. Pleasant conversation and companionship were very strong aspects of this ride as were the gently lapping waves of the canal tempting us to plunge into the crystal clear waters. We pedalled along the canal from Purton to the Ryalls lane bridge at Slimbridge, now the tow path is usually a firm track with a gravelly base. We soon discovered that if you marinate the path in rainwater for a month and then attempt to cycle it you will skid all over the place and occasionally get a little stuck. Surprisingly when we left Ryall's Lane for those couple of fields (you know - the ones that nip into the back of Frampton) we found them to be very firm and easy to cycle. That was until we bumped into the duck shoot which sped us up a bit and pushed up the heart rate. Luckily they were firing away from us, we found a few brace of mallard and pheasant tied to a land rover and debated having an impromptu barbeque ­ disappointingly we had no matches, cutlery or bbq sauce. So on we went to Frampton, recrossing the canal, past the old cider factory and entered Frampton from the rear, which was nice. Mad Dawg cleverly did something very unexpected with his derailleur which took a relatively short time to repair. Next was the gravel pits, Gazza expertly steering us away from the pubs on the green. Again these tracks were in tip top nick but with huge puddles on them which cleaned off the bikes nicely. Right that behind us it was time to whizz back down the canal to Slimbridge for coffee and cakes, absolutely smashing, especially as Jonquil bought them. Wing Nut got a little confused here and turned into some sort of weird doorman, rushing between the two exterior doors slamming them shut, almost as quickly as we could open them. After this exhausting episode we gently cycled back around the lanes to the Salmon, reminiscent of the famous five. Here we drank as much beer as humanly possible in a short a time as possible and then left to get home somehow and snore the rest of the day away. In our haste to leave we forgot that Gazza had locked himself out of his house and was doomed to live like a tramp in the Wanswell gutters for the rest of his life. Shame he was quite a nice bloke.

Date, Ride Venue:

Feb 3rd. Pedalabikeaway Forest of Dean.

Outrider(s):

Mr Kipling and Sue

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Ian, Sue, Alan, Terry, Fishy, Jonquil, Maddog, Soraya, Garry, Sam, Pete, Jason, Stuart, Adam, Valerie, Nick, Fraser, Dawn, Horace, Postie, Red Light, Gary, Orville, Pete, (Wingnut) Lynne, Alice and Ellen.

A dense fog flowed off the Severn filling up the vale, the frost was crisp and even like a good pizza and there were doubts in our minds whether this cycling lark was a good idea. A decision was to be made; lie around all morning in a lovely warm comfortable bed or go out into artic-like conditions, well Pebbles and my mind was made up the The Fish who came and collected us at 9.00am. Bugger!

Once out of the Severn Vale it was a glorious morning bright sun shining on the frost, one of my favourite types of day. So at 10.30 a load of us set off along the single track, Nick returning for the first time in ages, made his mark here and led rest away into the café for coffee and cake. The track was in good condition but the roots were a little bit on the slippery side - so they had to be attacked. Many of us fell, but it was tremendous fun. As we gathered ready for the second ride the single trackers were very easy to spot as steam was pouring off them, it was very hot work.

Mr K_s ride was broken down into several sections and volunteers were required to lead each section from a map supplied by the great man. It worked really well and was a good idea, the first section was the most difficult and poor Maddog did get it a little bit wrong, probably the only person to completely mess it up - actually it was the easiest section but don_t tell anyone! It was a pleasure to be joined on this ride by the waffling Hosepipe, Orville and Fanny belt, who early on managed to wedge his chain behind the rear cassette. This proved to be an interesting problem and took quite a bit of time to sort out so the rest of the pack went on. They obviously had a little bit of trouble finding the way as it didn_t take very long at all to catch them at the top of a fairly steep hill with Nick clutching the map. He then took us for a detour around the back of a hunting lodge. On we pedalled, taking jumps and hurtling down hills, it didn_t take long for Posty to spot his opportunity for some domestic revenge. Spotting that Red Light had dropped her defences, an evil glint appeared in his eye as he accelerated to ram her broadside, it was a terrible mess, don_t know what it was all about but he seemed happy. This sort of thing happens when you get engaged, so I hear.

Shortly after this we bumped into Moaner Liza and the kids having a picnic, we_d given up all hope of finding her as she tried to get through on the closed Huntley Road and got hopelessly lost. Actually I think she was disappointed to see us as they had found quite a nice spot in the sun to relax. Hard luck, on you come with us! At the top of a slightly difficult descent we regrouped, Gazza explained that it was a good one but had a rather tricky ditch at the bottom, what the hell, off I shot dodging around trees, taking all the jumps and then the ditch, no problem at all, doh! Front wheel stuck in the mud and chucked me off, I landed on my handlebars which I was just about to realise hurt until Gazza arrived in the same ditch but with much more effect, off the bike and backwards into the biggest muddiest puddle, fantastic, complete took my mind off the severed leg. So off we went meandering around a variety of tracks, past ponds, along the disused railways, single tracks and eventually we turned up at the White Horse at Ruspidge I think, or near there at least. Sunbathing was in order here and quaffing of London Pride. Eventually we had to leave and back to the woods where we went whizzing around all over the place. Soon it was trick cyclist time, could Gazza jump Stuart on his bike, we didn_t think so - anyway in eager anticipation we gathered at the top of a steep descent and then hared down it flat out, first couple down dislodged a large branch, which knocked Stuart off and there was Gazza right behind, would he be able to do it! NO, front wheel grazing his back as Gaz dumped the bike in the brambles and did a 360° roll over the prostrate rider. Looked very painful actually and I was very glad it wasn_t me, Scratterly just managed not to decapitate him. It wasn_t long now until we arrived back at the cycle centre and then off to the Swan at Brierly for a good old nosh up. Thanks Ian and Sue for a very good ride, thoroughly enjoyed it.

A great idea for a multi-led ride Mr Kipling and thanks a lot for the great write up Maddog.

Date, Ride Venue:

Feb 17th. The Old Crown at Uley.

Outrider(s):

Maddog

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Maddog, Alan, Jonquil, Terry, Fishy, Ian, Sue, Ruth, Geoff, Pete, Jason, Plodders, Marcus, Max, and new guy Steve from Teign Valley bashers.

A fab turnout for Maddogs’ laid ride. Scrat had been up at the crack of dawn to help lay the trail. Both of them arrived back well in time to send off the Cranks. Checking as we went we soon found ourselves in Owlpen Woods. A relentless climb left some of us needing assistance, but we all made it eventually. The checks were long and I always managed to find the wrong trail, so my ride must have been vastly longer than most!! Gullible eh! In Penn Wood, near the scout camp, Maddog gave the group an alternative to the single-track downhill, which some took. The majority of us enjoyed the steep, deep leaf-littered downhill taken at speed. Not quite eyes closed, but big grins all around when we reached the bottom. We knew there must be the corresponding uphill section but it was some way away. New boy Steve showed what he was made of and made us mere mortals wince as he rode up a seemly impossible slope. And then came back to push my bike uphill for me ­ I like the guy lots. (Look out Fishy there is competition for fittest CRANK!) We met up with the others at the Coaley Peak viewpoint, but the fog was so thick we were lucky to see them. As the fog was so thick the hares decided to cut off the proposed loop into Nympsfield and make the way back to Uley. Or was it the lure of a Pigs Ear or Two? You decide!

Good food and marvellous ales were consumed with gusto and then some hardy Hashers were off for a run in the afternoon. The rest of us home for hot baths I suspect. Thanks to Maddog for planning the route and to both Maddog and Alan for laying a great trail.

Date, Ride Venue:

March 3rd. Sore Ass Ride - Tavern Inn Kemble

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

-

From the Long term car park by The Royal Oak Inn, 1 Cirencester Road, Tetbury Gloucestershire, GL8 8EY. From the Market Hall in the centre of Tetbury take the Cirencester Road (to the left of the Snooty Fox Hotel) towards the Chipping car park. Follow the road down and round a double bend. The Royal Oak is on your right adjacent to the long-term car park. Those of you that put bikes on a roof rack, please note the height restrictions before the bikes are knocked off. The route will be country lane, bridleway, all fairly flat and deep mud free. A stream is close by to wash the bikes off.

Date, Ride Venue:

March 3rd. The Royal Oak Inn, Tetbury

Outrider(s):

Fishy

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Jack, Alistair, Ray, Terry, Alan, Ali, Mike, Maddog, Jonquil, Mudguard, Bradley, Plodders, Pete, Jason, Stuart, Adam, Fishy.

The day started bright and early with blue skies, gentle breeze, comfortable temperature and 16 eager bikers for this fantastic ride. I had spent a lot of time and effort in the preparation and laying of this ride, news of it had obviously travelled far and wide as we were joined by Jack, Alistair and Ray from the Sore Ass Bashers. Alistair had even cycled in from Swindon (you think I’m mad riding to the odd ride).

The posse headed from the old railway station (yes Tetbury did have a railway once), through the town and out in the direction of Westonbirt. Being a kind and considerate hare we took the easy route and not up the famous 1:4 Gumstool hill used for the Woolsack race. The first re-group and chance for the late comers to catch up, took place at the back entrance to grounds of Highgrove House. I guess we didn’t look too inviting as we were not joined by HRH. It was then on to Westonbirt via country lane, where Plodders managed to catch us up by following the well marked route.

From here it was more lanes towards Shipton Moyne. At one check on the route Plodders and Bradley checked out a good size puddle to find that it was above pedal height when it washed over their shoes. At the same time Maddog was feeling frisky, he took a liking to Scratley and rear-end him before crashing to the ground.

On on past the Cat & Custard Pot and onto the Fosse Way our first bit of bridleway of the day. Over the last few years the bridleway base has been improved, so although it had puddles on it, there was a firm base and it was not too muddy. One of the puddles was quite deep as Jonquil found out, much to the amusement of everyone watching.

Upon reaching the end of the bridleway by Kemble airfield we stopped again to re-group, have some jelly babies and watch Jason jumping his bike off a wall. The trail split here allowing a shortcut route via road marked with an S, while the main trail headed across a field and along the old Tetbury ­ Kemble railway track. 7 hardly riders took to the trail while everyone else took the shortcut. Whilst doing the shortcut I understand that Maddog was still feeling amorous after Scratley’s rebuff, so he tried his luck by rear-ending Ali as well.

The short-cutters, bored with hanging around for the hardy 7 at the Culkerton re-group point continued on round through Ashley, Long Newton, Tetbury and back to the pub. Meanwhile on the old railway, Jack and Alistair were enjoying themselves so much they decided to continue along the railway, even though the trail had turned off it. This gave Jason and friends a chance to catch up a bit, before the last few miles along the road back to the pub.

All agreed it was a fantastic ride, the best they had been on and would be their vote for ride of the year. For those that missed the railway route, I might include it in a Tuesday night ride later in the year.

Date, Ride Venue:

March 17th. Cottage Inn, Bristol.

Outrider(s):

Fraser

Distance:

-

Cranks:

Fraser, Dawn, Alan, Terry, Fishy, Garry, Steve, Rodders, Max, and newcomers Ali and John. Fallers: - Fishy, Terry, Dawn.

Bristol's local single tracks near the city: Ashton Court, Leigh Woods, 50 Acre Wood, Wraxall Piece and Plantation. Twisty tracks - very fast in the dry, very slippery in the wet and very, very muddy all of the rest of the time.

Date, Ride Venue:

April 7th. Colesbourne Inn, Colesbourne.

Outrider(s):

Bale Out

Distance:

Approx. 18.5 miles.

Cranks:

Bale Out, Ali, Fishy, Alan, Terry, Maddog, Jonquil, Ruth, Geoff, Pete, Jason, Adam, Fraser, Dawn, Wingnut, Bradley Steve, Dylan and Eddie.

We met up at Bale Out’s home where we were treated to bacon butties, doughnuts and coffee to get us up-and-running. It was a lovely day and there was a great temptation to stay put. However, having fuelled up we thought we needed a stiff ride. The first steep climb on the road tested Pete’s chain to breaking point. But it did allow the rest of us time to regain our breath at the top of the hill! Soon after the repair Pete came a cropper, landing in what looked like cow poo! The jolly gang climbed many hills and swept down again. One particularly long dusty descent saw Alan sideways on, skidding to a halt just in time, leaving the assembled group in a dust cloud. Thanks Al! Steve had a jockey wheel part company with his bike. Luckily for him an eagle-eyed Crank found all the bits and the bike was duly put back together again. The sun shone for the whole ride and we were all filled with the joys of spring. Some of the trails were very hard-packed and rutted, causing several squeals of nerves.

Back at the Colesbourne Inn lunch was enjoyed by most in the afternoon sun, very relaxing it was. Gradually, the group started to leave but Ali and Bale Out invited the remaining ones back for scones and tea. Not realising Ali had to actually cook the scones, us lot in the garden thought the two of them had nipped up to bed!! But soon the smell of fresh baking wafted from the kitchen. The scones were deliciouse (And the coffee Bale Out). We enjoyed a very pleasant afternoon admiring the new garden. Thanks to Bale Out and Ali for a delightful day and a truly scenic, but challenging ride.